FFXIII: Unstoppable

What if what I want makes you sad at me? Is it all my fault, or can I fix it, please?

Because you know I'm always all for you…

There were many ways Hope justified his definite interest in Lightning. Snow had told him they were all bullshit and he knew it, but when push came to shove, Hope knew he couldn't accept the truth behind his feelings, and the object of his affection probably wouldn't have been too pleased to know that she'd attracted a boy of a scant fourteen years and a posh, sheltered childhood. Never the twain would meet, and Hope knew it.

So, with the fate of his feelings tucked safely away in the deepening alcoves of his heart, Hope had been left to theorize reasons why they simply refused to fade away. He knew that crushes didn't last forever, but the lack of infatuation he felt harassed him just as much as Snow did, reminding him over and over that there was more to his interest. Maybe he saw Lightning as a stand-in for his mother. The prospect was plausible until a certain point, taking into account Hope's partial reliance on her, the way he quickly grew strong when in battle with her, and how his fears diminished after speaking with her. She seemed rather fond of him in her own way, teaching him to defend himself and survive while simultaneously offering him the trace amounts of comfort she could. She tried.

The more time that passed, however, Hope began to notice that the emotions he'd buried hadn't faded away – in fact, if they'd done anything, they'd multiplied a hundredfold in the recesses of Hope's heart; in turn, so had the shame.

Hope's mother had taught him that no one could possibly expect him to control his feelings, whether they concerned people, places, politics, or anything else the world might have imposed. However, she informed him that he could control the actions he took as a result of his aforementioned feelings or opinions. For instance, if Hope's anger toward his father ever evolved into hatred – which ultimately, it did rather often – Hope had the choice to either lash out at his father or blow off steam through journaling or talking to his mother.

Hope was quick to apply his mother's advice to his feelings concerning Lightning, and offered himself an ultimatum.

He could expose his affection for her and risk damaging the relationship they'd already established, or he could continue hiding them and let his unrequited love live and die in silence.

He knew he wanted to tell her. Hope wanted Lightning, her love, her attention, and everything else that was Lightning. But how could she, a soldier of twenty-one, ever fall in love with a weakling of a fourteen year-old? Hope could only imagine the look on her face; how the shock would mingle with disappointment and sadness would surge through the crystalline cerulean orbs he loved so much.

She would be so disappointed with him, and the thought of letting Lightning down was enough to nearly kill Hope's feelings for her.

Maybe she would let him fix it afterward.

After all, she already knew that he was always all for her.